The Price of Freedom

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The Price of Freedom

Post by Shouri2 on Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:26 pm

The Price of Freedom is a story inspired by Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core, Royal Road, Ark, The Gamer and some other novels or manga. It is also inspired by an article I read on blue. You should read it too (It rhymes...). Sadly, this is not a DBZ story, so don't get your hopes up. However, I may be implementing some things from DBZ, or inspired from it. Flames will be ignored, constructive criticism would be appreciated, and compliments to the chef (me) may make me blush. Now, onto the very important disclaimer!

Disclaimer: The Price of Freedom somewhat belongs to me, as I mixed several ideas together. BUT those ideas came from the awesome things I have read and/or played.

The Price of Freedom

Chapter 1: It starts with one

Darkness is all I see, all I breathe, and all I feel. Time is unfeeling, digging its claws into my brain, for what seems like eternity. Torn images float across my mind like a whisper on the breeze.

A young boy, who is he? It’s me? He is walking, walking down a deserted road. He is so alone…I wish I could help him fill that gap. The gap I have too, for I am him, and he is me.

A building surrounded by flames such as those in the deepest recesses of my mind; the flames of hurt. Screaming, crying and weeping are everywhere, but I notice a lady, standing silently. She looks at the building with empty eyes, eyes that have lost the most precious thing to a human being. Hope.

She speaks silently, with no voice coming out, but to me, it is as if a church bell has rung in my ear.

‘Don’t leave me’

I hear nothing else as I run with all my might, desperation providing energy I knew not.  I take a great leap, pushing off the wall to reach higher, and make a grab for an overhanging pipe. It is hot, and nearly makes me let go, but the words of the lady come back, and desperation changes to ice. The ice cold fury at those who dare take away Hope.

I swing into the second story of the building, where the fire burns most. As I do so, I hear firemen shout a warning to everyone close by “The building is about to collapse! Everyone, get to safety now!”

The people scurry back like rats at a torch, but the lady stands tall in the face of Destruction. To the crowd’s amazement, she stands there, with Hope returning in her eyes. She locks eyes with me, and I know that in that gaze, is expressed the gratitude one cannot show in a lifetime otherwise.

Returning to the task at hand, I run through several rooms until I come to a room that seems to be the cause of Destruction. A girl with blond hair around my age is lying limp on the ground. Thankfully, she is not dead yet, but the same cannot be said for the man next to her. Death has claimed the Life of her father, for I was too late to save him. Alas! My heart cannot weep, or the fierce fire would have vanished before my deep sorrow already.

The girl is not as heavy as I expected, and I am glad she is not awake. If she were, I do not hope to believe she would have approved of me leaving her father. Or the fact that I am carrying her in such a manner.



Yes, I am very glad that she has not awakened.

The routes to escape are becoming blocked by fire or debris one by one. The only one left is the roof. Running, I reach it and yell for a fireman to bring a trampoline or something similar. The firemen hurry as fast as they can, but I can already feel it is too late. The building is starting to collapse, so without a moment’s hesitation, I throw the girl towards the firemen. She lands safely in a bouncing thing filled with helium, but the same cannot be said for me. I am falling, flames eagerly eating at my body, debris piling up on top of me.

I can’t breathe…no…air…I made…a promise…I’m so sorry…

Hope…Goodbye...


Last edited by Shouri2 on Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:53 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Had to put in cool chapter name. It's the first line of "In the End" by Linkin Park.)
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Vegito9000 on Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:41 pm

((Darn, your story beats mine for Sure!))

Great job, can't wait for more! Very Happy
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Shouri2 on Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:52 am

Thanks (Blushes). The next chapter will be in a week or two for three main reasons:
1. To write it of course
2. To let anyone really interested in this story time to read the stuff I got some ideas from. The directions are at the bottom.
3. Because I've got formal assessments I need to prepare for.

Directions to the stories I was inspired from:
1. Royal Road (LMS): The site I use is easy to get to. Go to "www.google.com". Search "lms toc". Go to the royal road link. Now start reading! Btw, there are other stories there too that are based off of the Royal Road plot. Just go to Fictions page on the site to read them.

2. Ark: Go to Google, type "japtem ark toc". Now go to the japtem site to read ark. Japtem also has fiction.

3.The Gamer: I prefer to use mangacow or mangajoy to read The Gamer, as they have the latest chapters and I don't see any mistakes. Go to google, type "The Gamer Mangajoy" or replace it with Mangacow. Be warned, some computers won't let you search for manga. For those ones, take out the first a in manga to fool it.

4. Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core: This is a PSP video game, but you can either watch the cutscene compilations on youtube or play it on an emulator instead. Trust me, it's a good game. By the end, you'll be attached to at least one character. If not nearly all of them...

Now fly, fly and read more stuff like this! Come back when you are losing feathers, and my "The Price of Freedom" tonic will grow them all back!

Sorry if the writing style bothers you. I read a bit of a Charles Dickens book, so I was in the mood to write it differently. Also, I noticed that I left out some stuff on purpose that some people would think are mistakes. In the beginning, the main character (MC) is floating in complete darkness. His features or other small details are not spoken of because he has lost his memory a bit (more like all of it...). I hope to see this story get more popular, and find out what that symbol next to it means...

Warning: Sometimes I may go overboard with the gore and blood, so if you don't like stuff like that, all I can say is...who am I kidding, these are DBZ fans, they have seen Piccolo rip off his own arm, Krillen get barbequed, Tien lose his arm, Vegeta get angry on Namek and they have seen their own vomit sometimes. We are the Veterans of DBZ, we do not fear blood. What we do fear is something much worse...Needles!!! pale affraid
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Shouri2 on Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:15 pm

Chapter 2 undergoing rewrite. It's always hard to start off a story, and I am currently deciding between several ideas for Chapter 2.


Last edited by Shouri2 on Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:39 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Rewrite notification)
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Vegito9000 on Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:47 pm

You know, I was NOT Expecting my game's name in there....


Great Job.. Hurry up. Make it in Notepad! Bit by Bit!! lol!
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Shouri2 on Sat Sep 27, 2014 4:20 pm

I love making references to stuff. Also, I kinda don't have ANY writing software. I always make the chapters and posts in one sitting on the site.
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Vegito9000 on Sat Sep 27, 2014 4:44 pm

You have to have notpad. All windows Computers have Notepad
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Shouri2 on Sun Sep 28, 2014 3:39 am

I think I did see Notepad somewhere, but I'm too lazy to go find it. So I'll just continue writing it like this.
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Re: The Price of Freedom

Post by Shouri2 on Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:16 pm

Chapter 2: I'm not going down

People often say that death is the next great adventure. Turns out they were right. My adventure started with a sensation of something pulling at me, or should I say, my soul. However, I'm not one to go down that easily, and I gripped my body's teeth, trying to pull myself inside my mouth again. The battle became increasingly tougher, but I had enough willpower to power up several million people's will. Of course, that willpower only shows itself in a stressful situation.

What is that strange feeling? I feel cold, but I'm a soul so how am I getting cold? OMG DEMENTORS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? They're trying to suck my soul, but I'm not going down! Even though I don't watch Bleach, I still read a few chapters until that part where he makes a weird doppelganger of himself. So I'm hoping no Hollows come to help the Dementors. Knowing my luck, that will probably happen.

After a halve hour of the battle, my body was discovered by the hospital guys whose name I am much too busy to remember. Hey, don't you dare- You just puked on my face dude! Gross!

Let go of my body! No! Not there, don't hold me there! Hahahahaha! That tickles!

I was piled into an ambulance, which speeded off to the-force-pulling-me knows where. Well I can take a guess. I'm probably going to a hospital......

Looks like I was right. Oh cool I'm going straight to the Emergency Care Unit or whatever it's called. *Yawns* Gosh hospitals are so boring...Except for this part right here. I love this part where they shock the perso-GEEEAAAAAAH!!!

Why do I feel the pain?! It hurts bro, right here in my soul...Hmm, maybe it hurts me because it's hurting my heart and my soul is in my heart? I have no idea if that's true or not.

Looking at the men and women working to restore me to life, I notice a strange machine being carried in. Wait a second...That's-

My Pre-ordered Golden Edition Beta Virtual Reality Capsule Version 4.44! What are they doing? Oh I get it. I think they want to send unconscious me a message in the game, telling me to pull through or something. I hate cheesy or corny things, though I wonder why they call sappy moments things that are food? Like cheesy, corny and sappy. Seriously, what is with the-

At that moment, the moment when the game started, lightning struck through the window, and straight to my mouth where my soul was still fighting for freedom from the dementors and other creatures that had appeared during my observation. Instead of hurting me, the lightning actually gave me some kind of power. Using this new power, I repelled the creatures. They slammed into the walls of the room, and then I gave an evil grin. I WAS feeling hungry...I wonder what fried dementor tastes like? Probably chicken, as they all just flew away.

But then there was one. One as in one dementor. But when I focused my eyes on it, it shifted into some kind of gangster. Cool, I love gangsters. There's Greed from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and there is the shinigami in Death Note. He resembles a gangster a lot. It was then that I noticed time was frozen. The room was replaced with total whiteness, and the pull was gone. Not taking any chances, I hid myself into my heart, and then peeked out of my chest at the gangster. He seemed to be looking through a book for something.

Looks like he found what he was looking for. And now he pulled another book out from the book. Is it about me?

"Yo"

He talks!?

"Yes"

He reads minds!?

"Yup"

He's a gangster!?

"Yeah"

He's dumb!?

"Yes. Wait No!"

Haha! Got ya!

NOTE: All I'm writing at the moment. Depending on my mood, the story changes a lot. I'm probably going to scrap this rewrite as well, but I like some aspects of it.
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